Let go of the past.
Things change so much,
I'm scared
I can't believe it.
Let go of the past
It's time to move on.

I think i rather be the first one to leave then the last one. It just makes things a lot easier then like sulking about it at home. You get thrown into a new life right away.

That's how i see it.

So this is it. Believe it or not. University here we come. I just watched the season finale of Laguna Beach season 1.. and I got that feeling where I'm in that same position.. packing up and leaving home! It's really hard to believe... my new life is awaiting me.

As I go off to Kingston, I am leaving my past behind me and I'm going to start new ones.
I think it's safe to say that I'm growing up.
One thing that you have all taught me was to always stand on your ground and your friends will always be there for you no matter what. It's difficult to think that everyone goes their different directions but it's life. Time to move on right?

One thing i've learned this summer was to stop getting involved and letting stuff happen to other people. I think it's time for me to think for myself. At the end of the day, you have to find your true character and who you are... as opposed to being that fifth business that I thought I use to be...

This is the story of my life. I am the star of this story and thanks to you all, I can finally say that with confidence.

Take care my buddies. Stay in touch. I will miss you.

your friend,

- Jon

QUICK QUESTION! I WANT YOUR ANSWERS

Would you rather be broken up with when:

Your boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on you?

OR

Your boyfriend/girlfriend had realized that they were gay?


Just a quick question! ADD YOUR ANSWER NOW!

I think it's gay that my timetable doesn't get out till august 28th. How retarded.

Accounting sucks ass by the by. I'm soo fried for frosh week...apparently i have to wear 2 socks on my left foot.. which essentially my right foot is screwed yo. NOt cool

- Jon

livejournal: What people do when they are bored and feel like procrastination. Livejournal updates reach all time lows during the summer season when people realize that they have a life.

right.
so shit happens.
but who gives a damn.

I feel like I'm standing beside a line.
A line that is clearly marked and I'm ready to cross it.
On one side, I have me, the guy i've been for as long as i remember
and on the other side, my rebellious side that I have been able to tame.
Something is drawing me to cross the line, yet something is holding me back
Both pushes are small, but I don't know what to do.
I can't stand being on one side, and I know the consequences of being on the other.
That leaves me in checkmate.
What the hell do i do?
Do you ever get that feeling?
I find that I'm at breaking point with everything now a days.
I'm ready to snap and let all my built in fustration.
I'm holding it, holding it tightly, but as the days go by
my grasp seems to be fading away.
What once I thought was stable, is not
nothing is what it seems.
I feel like a unstable chemical reaction
waiting for the catlyst
what do i do?!
do i snap? do i drive myself to insanity?
This is no joke my friend
I think i'm going through an identity crisis
I am confused and I need a push on either side
I think this has been the repercutions of my high school life
Why do i have to deal with this shit? Why me? Why not let things happen to me?
Why not push for what i want? Why be the martyr when I have every right to be the right option?
What the hell have i been doing these years? I think i've been ignorant to a part of myself that I now feel.
Am i ready? I don't know.
All i know is that I shouldn't be taking shit from no one.
I got to fight for me, and not for others happiness
I should have realized this sooner, maybe i wouldn't be in this mess

when in real doubt, look both ways,
you are alone.
face the music.
Let's not forget the voices
the voices that help you think,
help you walk to the door
the inspirational to give you that push
but at the end of the day
you are alone.
you have to walk through that door alone.
don't depend on others
find yourself and choose the right door to walk through.

I don't know what i'm doing
I'm just looking for that voice.

Hey

I'm still alive believe it or not! I am home from the UK and I had a blast. I'm really too lazy to write what my adventures were like, but i'm sure if you asked me, I would fill you in. In general, I have to say that it was AWESOME. I had a blast. I missed you all, but on the other hand, I wish I was still there partying it up.

Jon went to multiple pubs and went through the UK without an ID! heh Oh i love the UK.

Sorry, my thoughts are really scattered at the moment.. that includes talking about myself in third person.

I'm not exactly sure when the last time I updated, but all I can say that a lot is changing!

I have facebook and it's amazing. I met a lot of my floormates at Queen's and were all meeting up soon time! Everyone seems nice and I can't wait to meet these people. It's unfortunate that I can't take you all, but you are all more then welcome to visit.

I've realized that University is scary. From frosh week, to the actual bulk of work, I feel inadequate to be where I am. I do not feel prepared what so ever and I feel that I'm still a little kid!

I hung out with my bis sis today and it was awesome. I think I went through the whole day having really good conversations and never actually got bored! It's funny how fast time flies when you are having fun/growing up.

I took the other day and just thought of being a kid and not knowing what life was beyond grade 8, then high school, then university. I remember having an awesome imagination... one memory that sticks to my mind is one of the days i lay on the floor in the hall way and just looking through the skylight and watch the sun rays hit me for who knows how long. Actually, i remember that was the day that I almost drowned. I can't forget that day.. it was actually quite scary.

Anyways, for some strange reason.. my mind drifted towards grey's anatomy then to drama

Next year has drama! that's interesting! i'm quite excited!


anyways that's enough out of me now! peace out home peoples

heya

I'm home.

Hey

I decided to take the day off to work on a scholarship and do some pre-university work before I head off to London tomorrow. I am actually going to also go around university campus and take pictures of it so that I can show you people what the University of Birmingham has to offer. It's a really hot day, but apparently it's really really hot at home? that scares me a lot. It's uncommon to have AC in the UK. I'm off to cambridge and London tomorrow and will also be seeing richard aka MIJU in Picadilly. It's cool, I'm quite excited about it. I hear london is uber expensive, so I'm worried. I think I'm more scared of being mugged. Anyways, here's a list of requests from the uk:

Aidan: Post-card
Meg: Yorkie's (aka the chocolate bar NOT for girls) and a map of London
Jasmine: A load of pictures
Alex: Curly Wurly's and double devon toffee's from marks and spencer
Family: Nugget fruit candy from harrods

OKAY! so i'm bringing loads of food home, let's hope the chocolate doesn't melt!!! anyways, off to do something more productive, take care

- Jon

Heyo

I'm in Birmingham right now and it's pretty sweet. I first thought this place was an absolute SLUMP. The whole Selly Oaks (where my brother lives) felt like a ghetto!! It has grown on me and I can now get 'in-town' on my own. My bro's been working these past few days, so his gf has took me around birmingham. I have visited 'The Bullring' a mall that has 3 floors, much like the eaton centre with an outside part that is HUGE. For you fashion freaks, Ted Baker and Superdry is the new shit. Watch it! I have also visited 'The Mailbox,' a high end shopping mall with pretty much is bloor street condenced in a mall. It was pretty amazing. I've been going out for every meal since I got here, but today we decided to take it easy and cook ourselves. I got a really bad stomachache that sidetracked our plans. My stomach is in some agony but this too shall pass.

I'm looking for a new mobile right now and I'm pretty convincede that I'm going to be purchasing a new one. =D As of now, I have bought: Disel bag (23 pounds), new pair of shoes (10 pounds), sweater from zara (12 pounds), and superdry hoody (44 pounds).

Yesterday I went to a nice italian restaurant called Cielo and bought my bro a cake from Selfridges: A department store dedicated to expensive clothing and fine dining. I had to try it out for lunch, so I went there today. On the first day I got here, I went to a place called Tai Pan. It's a Jap restaurant with a conveyor belt. It was awesome. All you can eat for 6 pounds.

I saw Pirates yesterday and I thought it was good, just things got unresolved. Question: How do you save Captain Jack when he's been eaten up by the Crank? That still confuses me. Question: How does Bootstrap Bill get out of that whole seafood face phase and to the creepy swamp lady? Question: Why is Kiera Knightly so damn hot???

I love british girls by the by. They are just soo damn hot. They have UBER fashion taste, they are skinny because it's expensive to eat here, and they have a british accent. LOL.. as shallow as it may sounds, brit girls certainly have something over north american girls.

Yea, enough about me being shallow, I feel that my brother's gf's accent is rubbing on to me. I can hear myself say like words with a brit accent and I am not purposly doing it. If i stayed here for 2 months or something, I'm sure i could pick one up. I surely want one.

My plans at Queen's are finalized! yippie! Rez forms got in, and I have an equal chance of getting the room I want as everyone else. Course selection rocks because I have no options! haha.. yay general! You wouldn't believe it, but the day I got my phone call from Queen's, I was about to hit the button to submit my course selection at Waterloo. Anyways, I don't want to think about that anymore. I'm not a fob, I don't go to foberloo.

rant of the day: Do you know what pisses the hell out of me? I'm here in birmingham and I'm like passed out on the floor holding my stomach and my bro is like fondling his gf on his bed in front of me and doesn't give 2 shits that i'm here. He goes to work everyday, comes back and basically wants to be with his gf which he sees all the time, but the time I'm here, he like friggen ignores me and sticks me infront of a computer. He asks me why i'm fucking bored, clue in buddy. I don't enjoy him fondling his gf here. DUH. What makes things worst is that I'm sleeping on the floor with a pillow that basically makes my head sink to the floor, so i'm sleeping on the floor. His gf and him sleep on the bed. Yep. I'm the guest here in the UK. What makes things worst is that he boasts on an on about how much he spent on me in HK in actual fact, he has spent SOOOOO much money on his gf, it's rediculous. It's not his money either, but it's my parents money, the money I could be using by the by. This is rediculous. He needs an attitude smack and boy he's going to get one once he gets home. UGHHHH!!

Anyways, I had to get that off my back. I'm actually having a good time in the UK. I get to explore london on my own on tuesday and stay in cambridge. I think I'm going to go out and get some fish and chips or pizza for my stomach. Peace out

- Jon

AIGHT

I made it in the UK. It was a rough, but eventually I got to my bro's residence in Selly Oak, Birmingham. Everything here is OLD! (dude!welcome to england no?) We spent most of the day just relaxing and trying to overcome the jet lag. I couldn't sleep much on the plane because there were over a dozen babies on my plane and they all decided to cry and scream for no reason. That's just terrific eh? Anyways, I got to my bro's place and sort of passed out and had a slurred conversation with my brother as to what I would have for lunch. I had a really good baguette filled with cheese, chicken and tomato.

I think I passed out again and I later woke up and we went to a pub to watch the Germany vs Portugal game. Thank goodness Germany won. I was like really tired and almost fell asleep in the pub. It was hilarious. We played some pool and came home to have some frozen Pizza. I think i took a shower and went to bed at around 10:00pm. I woke up at 2:30 am and some how couldn't get to bed until 4:30 am. I liked shifted into 4 different locations and eventually found a nice spot on the floor. I woke up at 8:30am and went to the fridge to get something to drink. It's now about 9:30 here and were going to get ready to go to "New Street" where the mall is. I think were having all you can eat Japenese for 6 pounds for lunch! Then picking up Nick's gf at the train station and probably hitting another pub to see the world cup final at 6pm.

Time to jet! food shopping time! peace out

- Jon

I leave for THE UK in 6 hours

I get into Queen's Commerce TODAY!! BOOYAAAAAAA!!!!


- JONO OUT

Ever feel hopeless at the fact that life is changing so quickly that you can't grasp the moments that keep you sane and happy? I know I do. Actually, I've been feeling like that for a long time. I see myself on vacation in the UK and I'm all alone just like I am here, just in another country.

I've come to realize what it is like to have loads of material goods in front of you, but it will never make you happy. Happiness, is an emotion that I can't explain. I've had periods of happiness, but I don't think I've had the satisfaction for happiness that I've dreamed it would be like.

If I went back ten years, I wouldn't have suspected that my life would be like this. I thought I would have been such a different person. In the eyes of a child, I felt that I was going to be happy, I was going to be accomplished, I wasn't going to be lost and confused. Today, as a teenager, I feel confused about what happens next in my life, I question life and it's motives, I try to reason out why people are lonely, sad and depressed.

The end of a choir boy's life marks the ending of something great and the beginning of never ending possibilities. We postulate as human beings and feel accomplished for doing our service to the school, our families, and to God. We break the strong bonds with adults that we could more or less call our parents. It's funny how everything comes to an end like this.

For teenagers, we like to live in the moment and not care what tomorrow brings us because that is another adventure we will be dealing with in another time. I find that I've been living to ensure that tomorrow exists and have completly be absent as to what it is to be a normal teenager. Now, as the summer days tick on, I feel that I've lost a part of myself, lost a part of my childhood, lost a important key to growth as a human being that I'm not sure if I can go on and become an adult before I experience those emotions. The emotion to love, to care, to feel flawless, and to make mistakes. What have I done for myself? Am I really better off this wsy? or have I established a large sense of insecurity. Ah yes. Insecurity, that's the rub.

Ladies and gentleman, I am insecure.

- Jon

I leave for the UK on Friday. Let me know if you want something.

Peace

- Jon

hey hey

So! I'm really bored, and well, surgery gives me a really crazy rush. It's like kids on drugs! Kids do their drugs and get highs while i watch surgery and get a high! It's pretty cool. For the past 2 days, I have been watching non-stop nip/tuck! THat show ROCKS. I give it a 9.5/10.

I really wished I had somebody in oakville to kick a soccer ball with. I'm dieing to kick around a soccer ball and I HAVE by myself, but it just felt so depressing. THe worst part of it was that I have to chase the ball that I kicked.

In other news, I changed rooms again. I'll take pics tomorrow. I would TOTALLY win Room Raiders on MTV. Those girls will think that i'm the coolest dude ever!

ALSO! Groundbreaking news: I got my first credit card *insert gasp here* Time to go shopping!!! Anyone want to hit up bloor street? LOL.. jkz


So why doesn't it feel like summer? I havn't figured that out yet. It's quite sad how my family that was close isn't as close as it was before. The cousins don't go out for the night or anything. I was kind of relying on that to get through the summer.

I should get my official Queen's rejection tomorrow. Kind of late no?

Do you know what pisses the crap out of me? Sorry, but I have to let this out. Kids who have so much time to beef up their PSE'S (personal statement of experience / supplementary forms) and get acceptance into universities that they don't deserve to get into!!! Honestly, kids who do so much shit and don't have time to make crap up have to put up with this rubish! I found out the other day that some person put VOLUNTEER job experience in their PAID WORK EXPERIENCE!!! C'MON PEOPLE!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?! Where is the justice in all this? I hope all those kids fail out and go home and cry to their parents saying that life is too hard. You are worth nothing you pieces of crap.

To Universities that don't realize this or don't bother further investigating this: You are cowards and your institution is accepting FRAUDS and people that are incompetent to fulfill your standards. I like what U of T does. They actually follow up on your references. EVERY SINGLE ONE. That's what it's all about.

Anyways, I think the whole being at home for 48+ hours home alone has got to me. I'm getting so bitter and fustrated. My parents have finally realized that I'm a loser. I'm always at home and they ask me why I don't go out. Well Mommy and Daddy, little Johnny here has no friends in Oakville because you sent him to school in mothaaa f'ing Toronto! Moreover, You don't let me take out the car!!!! Give me a freaking break, I'm bound to be anti-social now. That's like milking a dozen cows by yourself with no machines. It's possible to make it work, just it takes FOREVER to do.

haha 2:32 am, time to sleep.

Bring quick feet and a big heart. Joga Bonito: I'll be watching you!

- JONO

HELLO!

OKAY! I didn't want to write what happened in my LJ because well, I just had enough of the whole thing and i'm moving forward. People who don't capitalize on my capabilities are losing out biatch! lol...

Sorry meg about phooo! I was in the t-dizzle fo wizzle to say good bye to teachers and deal with a few clients in da t-dot! I will make it up to you soon.

Do you know what just hit me?

I'm in the uk in a week! how cool is that?

I feel spoiled, but then again, i'm from oakville.

I get my credit card on friday! haha.. i hope this works out alright!

TIME FOR SOME MEAN shopping spree!


So my friends have been awesome lately.. i havn't had a day where i had to like sit at home and conjure up something to do, my friends have always been like. "YO JONOO! let's chill" OKEEEEE! awesome mate!

I have plans for tomaaarrow.. which is a day i'm currently not sure.. i think tomorrow is wednesday.. i want to chill with people on thursday and fliiiiday!!!! holla back at me plz!!!

ANYWAYS.. sleep time, i don't want to half bags under my eyes tomorrow!

I GOT PLANS SHIZAM!

- JOn

I can' do this right now. I can't deal with it. I don't understand why me.

Friday was a good day.

Today, back to bedlam.

HELLLLOOOOO LIVEJOURNAL COMMUNITY

Alright, So! It's like 1:15 am and I gotta be up at 6:00 to go to school for a 10:00 meeting. I came up with a clever idea of letting out my last thoughts about the Choir School and it's wonderful ways. This would include the treatment I have got and a whole lot of mombo jombo.

It shall be called "10 years in the making"

It's debut shall be soon.

- Jono